JESUS’ GUIDEBOOK TO RECONCILIATION

Romans 13: 8-10 ; Matthew 18: 15-20

The Great Mystery
I saw a comic that reflects the greatest mystery a pastor can encounter in ministry:  how do people remember all the conflicts that have happened in a church, all the gossip and incidents and cannot remember what the last sermon was all about.

Of course, you could say something like "we are Christians! There is no fighting in church!", but we all know that this is just not true. Where there are humans, there is conflict. And even in Acts, where the church looks so perfect we find out that the reason why deacons exists is because of a conflict between Jewish and Gentile widows that the apostles tried to fix by recruiting deacons to better serve the church.

We usually focus on Paul whenever we are talking about church conflict and infighting, but in Matthew’s passage, we see Jesus talking about how to deal with conflict… and we have a sort of four step process to deal with trouble between two people of the congregation.

Jesus’ Guidebook to Reconciliation
Let’s look at the Scripture to see what the steps are: The first one: "If your brother or sister sins against you, go and correct them when you are alone together. " This is good advice. Usually what happens when we have a conflict is that we tend to triangulate. What is the meaning of triangulation? “Triangulation is a manipulation tactic where one person will not communicate directly with another person, instead using a third person to relay communication to the second, thus forming a triangle.” Therefore, it makes sense that if we need to speak to someone to resolve any matter, we go directly to that person and not to another or to unveil our hurt feelings on the Internet.

The other thing to note here is the word “sin”. This is not a simple difference of opinion. This probably refers to anything that violates the ten commandments as we are reminded in Romans: “Don’t commit adultery, don’t murder, don’t steal, don’t desire what others have, and any other commandments, etc.” So we are not talking about something that is easily forgotten or forgiven but about something that can cause damage and pain to a person or a community.

Jesus lets us know then that the purpose is that, if they listen to you, then you’ve won over your brother or sister. This is the goal of the process of reconciliation that Jesus is proposing: You have a brother or sister at the end.

The second step is that if they won’t listen, take with you one or two others so that every word may be established by the mouth of two or three witnesses. Having witnesses (good ones), has the advantage of dealing with “he said, she said” issues, plus it could give you a mediator or someone with a fresh take on things.

The third step is : If they still won’t pay attention, report it to the church. When things get out of hand, then the problem should be brought to the whole congregation… and in Presbyterian context, then we would be talking about the session that represents the congregation.  Usually the church tries to find a way to discipline the person in order to guarantee in some shape and form that the person can be integrated back into the community and relationships can be restored.

Then, the last step: If they won’t pay attention even to the church, treat them as you would a Gentile and tax collector. When we hear Jesus say these words, we could assume that he means that this person is behaving like an outsider and as an unrepentant sinner, and therefore should be excluded from the community or family. After all, we see Paul advising the Corinthians to remove a member of the congregation after he has committed a sin of immorality.

Gentiles and Tax Collectors 
Usually, churches have heard this last step as Jesus’ permission to excommunicate, exile or throw out a person from the community of faith. But there are some Bible commentators that think these words were added by the Jewish Christian community and were not really said by Jesus himself. But as I look at the passage… I do think that Jesus said those words and that they have a lot to teach us.

If you remember, Jesus’ ministry was full of interactions with gentiles, tax collectors, prostitutes, the sick and other people that were rejected from “proper society.”  The people in power (religious leaders, lawyers, and others) often criticized Jesus for doing such thing.

Charles Hambrick-Stowe, pastor at First Congregational Church of Ridgefield has an interesting take on it that I want to share with you. He says that if Jesus interacted with gentiles and tax collectors, the conclusion is not for exclusion but for a persistent inclusion:  “what else can we conclude than that, far from shunning them, Jesus commands us never to give up on them, never to stop reaching out in love to them, always yearn for grace to restore what has been broken.” We then could conclude then that Jesus’ words are not meant to call for exclusion, but to remind us of his special care for those that are considered the “greatest transgressors” of the rules of the community of faith.

Jesus’ ministry and God’s grace go beyond our capacity to love. They want more, and Jesus here calls for more: a reconciliation and love that never gives up. If that was not the intention of the writer in Matthew… then his effort backfired , because everything that Jesus does goes against the words that he has ascribed to him.  

The Commandment of the Church
This love that the church is called to give is the one that Paul seems to be referring to in Romans: Love doesn’t do anything wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is what fulfills the Law.

The church is called to love in a different way, to live out in a different set of commandments than the ones that surround it. All of the commandments are summarized in two: Love God, Love others.  This is hard for us in this day and age. The church is understood as a voluntary thing. If people disagree with something or someone, they can leave. We come here on Sunday and then go about our business the rest of the time. The sense of the body of Christ, that depends and is connected to one another is no longer that important . And faith is something we discuss here and then can leave by the door to have different opinions or beliefs that can be disconnected from our faith.

Being faced with this call to live under a different commandment of love, than the one presented by culture and society, Charles Hambrick-Stowe asks a simple question: “If we in the church do not forgive and heal, who on earth is going to do it?”  Martin Luther King puts it in different words: "We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies."

Jesus says that “where two or three are gathered in my name, I’m there with them.” Being gathered in Jesus’ name in this passage means living by this commandment of love and reconciliation that does not give up, and that reaches out to those that have been shunned by the community or even those who don’t want to be a part of the community. Who then are these people in our context?

Refugees and undocumented immigrants
On Friday night, I went to Crescent Hill PC to watch two short documentaries. "Locked In a Box" is about undocumented immigrants in detention centers, and "To Breathe Free" is about the journey of a refugee family that left war torn Syria to build a new life here in the USA. Both films were produced by the Presbyterian Disaster Assistance, the same program that helps during hurricanes and other natural disasters.

As I was thinking about Gentiles and Tax Collectors… I thought about the connections between these four groups of people: Gentiles and Refugees are seen as outsiders, as different, as scary, as not worthy of being part of our circles. Tax Collectors and undocumented immigrants are viewed as criminals, as illegals, as unworthy of inclusion in our country, even if there were brought here against their will.

What is God’s will for these refugees and undocumented immigrants? Are we to exclude or to include them ? Are we to give up on them and send them away, or to try our hardest to find reconciliation, restoration and love for them? If we in the church do not forgive and heal, who on earth is going to do it?

Jesus says that we have the power to fasten on earth and it will be fastened in heaven. And to loosen on earth and it will be loosened in heaven. What does that mean? These were terms used to describe legal interpretations, to speak about what is permitted or not. Maybe it is time then for us as believers in Jesus Christ to reclaim this love and to say that Jesus way of reconciliation, restoration and love should be the commandment to follow. Reconciliation and not separation. Restoration and not punishment. Love as the fulfillment of the law, and not hate as the motivation for laws. May God help us to be the church that God wants us to be.